It is 6 in the morning. Im wakened by a persistent pounding against a shared wall between our bedroom and Solomons. I blink my eyes rapidly and try to gain consciousness as I take a peek at the monitor to see whats going on. There he was…his bright eyes glowing in the night vision looking up at the camera and his feet pounding viciously against the crib rails. This is his attempt to wake me up and get him out of bed. I stumble out of the bedroom to get the coffee going and the milk poured. Still blinking rapidly and trying to adjust my eyes.
Once I finally got him out of bed we sat and watched Sing while he drank milk and played and I drank coffee and scrolled social media. One cup of coffee down and it doesn’t even feel like it touched this exhaustion. But since Im trying to make sure I don’t get back into drinking five cups of coffee a day….I pass on the second cup. It was just ONE OF THOSE MORNINGS… Solly wouldn’t stop throwing food, Id fold laundry/he’d destroy it, Id pick something up/he’d make it a mess again, I fished a binky from the toilet with my bare hands, rewrapped the toilet paper roll after an epic unwrapping session, and finally tried calming a tantrum in the check out line in Kroger. It hit 10 a.m. and I thought that I actually might die from stress and fatigue. Toddlers are HARD, and I am fully aware that I haven’t even hit the Terrible Threes yet! #jesustakethewheel
It was finally nap time and thankfully these moments of struggle are currently showing to be some moments of grace. Solly comes over to me with tired eyes and says to me “Binky, Ellie, Nap!” so we gather his lovie and binky and head to his room. He nestles sweetly into my chest then perks up quickly to look at me with an ornery smile and says “PEEK!”, then giggles as he lays his head back into my chest. We repeat the process three more times before I start singing Jesus Loves Me. He finds his comfortable spot in the crook of my arm and keeps his eye on me as I sing and rock him to sleep. I lean in softly to give him a kiss goodnight and I gently say to him “I love you…” then he rolls closer into my chest, binky in mouth, soft smile on his lips, and says “I luh yewww…”.
And just like that the days troubles are washed away and my soul is renewed.