This November 9th I turn 30! If you asked me a year ago about how I felt turning 30 I wouldn’t have bat an eye at the idea. In fact, I would have told you that I was excited. Your thirties are supposed to be where you get to reap the benefits of all your hard work, you settle in to officially being an adult, you’re no longer considered a young naive twenty-something who has no aim in life. Yes, I was looking forward to being “settled”.
NEWS FLASH…Im no where near being settled. Actually, I feel quite the opposite. Im tired, quite a bit chubbier, no where near my professional goals I set when I was 20, my joints are sore, Im barely recognizing the reflection in the mirror, and Im actually kind of confused!
Listen, I want to preface this whole shebang…
Im a kickass mother… who sometimes may lose her ish a bit here and there, but a dang good one. My marriage is awesome and Im 100% confident in who Jared and I are as a team. Im speaking completely from a deep personal, professional, identity. Why am I not further in life like I thought I would be? Why am I not “bouncing back” after having Solly like I used to when I would gain and lose weight?
After crying into my cold eggs slathered in ketchup this morning I realized I needed to do something Id never done before. I needed a personal project that focused on me. The deep deep me. Not the mom me, not the wife me, but the deep Rachel inside who needs to be shown love. I stripped myself completely in front of the mirror and fought back thoughts of insecurity, fear, guilt…
I started replacing them with empowering truths…
- Ive seen pregnancy three times with one success. That a lot for my body to go through.
- I am strong and able to chase a toddler around the zoo for hours.
- I am beautiful and need to remember that.
- I was not made to be tame or subtle.
- I empower others through my honesty and openness.
- I will make a big impact on my child(ren) and leave a legacy for them to be proud of me.
THE HAPPY BODY PROJECT
This is my own personal project. Where I am stripping myself completely raw and showing the world my vulnerability. As a woman who is tired, trying to raise babies, build a professional life, be an awesome wife, love others, and still find time to love herself, I want you to see it all. I want to show off more of my postpartum body and really challenge you to do the same. The only time in my life that I was a size 2 was when I was starving my body of proper nutrients and calories. Im the type of body that can eat only lettuce and still have a little chub. Its just how I am. So I want to show that off. Why do I need to have a flat and toned stomach to feel confident in a bikini? FLAUNT IT!
Im still working on the details of this project entirely, but I was just way too excited about to not say anything right away. I will be using the hashtag #thehappybodyproject so that you can follow along on my IG account @racheljacobus.
I want to hear from you!! Comment below, or on my FB post, on some ways I can celebrate turning 30!!!